PDA

View Full Version : IPL'S JOKES FOR THE DAY~!!!


IronpumpedLady
03-29-2008, 07:05 PM
A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead. "No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!" "OK," says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "Jump! You have to jump!"

"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.

"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"

"Look," the Blonde says. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."
__________________________________________
A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in LA and he's stopped in traffic and thinks "wow, this traffic seems worse than usual, we're not even moving."

He notices a police officer walking down the highwayin between the cars and he rolls down his window and says "Excuse me officer, what's the hold up?"

"O.J. just found out the verdict, he's all depressed. He's lying down in the middle of the highway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and light himself on fire. He just doesn't have the $8.5 million for the Goldmans. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him."

The man says "Oh really? How much have you got so far?"

"So far?....Ten gallons."

_____________________________________________

Morty was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge.

He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."

His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!"
___________________________________

Husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,

'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."

"Yeah" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,

'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"



Stay Strong~~!!!
IPL

Siouxcountry
03-29-2008, 08:27 PM
Those are some evil firemen. :D