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Bernie
04-01-2008, 01:36 AM
ok. so im pretty much an open book. if you ask anything about me, i will tell you. i have been asked a few times, who i am, and where i come from.

there is sooooo much about me, that is just weird to understand, but needed to really "get" me. i guess. like i said, im an open book, but i felt i would just post my story here....so i have some place to refer people to when they ask...:P

plus it does explain a lil why i am the way i am, and who i am. and how i came in contact with the FBB, and physique industry in general.

ok, there are two parts of who i am, that need to explained...the first is the easiet.

Bernies life on message boards. ok. i know my way arond message boards i was a moderator/admin at the message boards for the band P.O.D. for roughly 8 years, before it was shut down...wow....december of 06. has it been that long? anyway. i bounced around from message board to message board. and was looking for places to go. my first moniker at the pod boards, was big_bjt....but that kicked to the curb for the more fitting NUTCASE#1. yeah...that is me. over the course of time, i have also used bthomas77. b for bernie. thomas...my last name. and 77 was my football number all 6 years i played. high school and two years of Junior College. so if you see bthomas77 around, likelihood is, it is me. i am bthomas77 at getbig, irontrybe, md(i have like 2 posts). and if you see Bernie, it is probably me as well.......

ok. that is the message boards. i know my way around, and look like i post too much, becuase i just know how they work, and how to do things. basically.

ok. then there is me.

i am born and raised in Encinitas California. it is in north San Diego county. i have always been pretty shy in person, but online i dont ahve to work through the one on one anxieties i have. and i can just be me. umm...where do i start.

shy bernie. out of high school i went to Palomar JC. i was playing football there, and i met a female who lil did i know this person would be one of the most influential people i would ever meet. the day i met her, she invited me to a Bible study where i accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and savior. i was going to two churches...going to Bible study three times a week. and we meeting people. she taught me it was ok to be me, and i was able to break out of my shell a bit. i had my first girl friend at the age of 19. i was just blossoming into me. i guess.

well after know my friend for a year, she got sick. she was my best friend, she was the first person in my life i felt comfortable with, and could tell anyting too. but like all things that seem to be perfect, she had a boyfriend...and blah blah blah. well anyway. she got sick. it was the big C. she had ovarian cancer. she went through chemo and all sorts of stuff, and they said she was in remission. she got married, and withing two months was sick again. withing 3 months of that. she had passed away...she was only 21.

ok, why tell this story? when she died. i locked up. i vowed to never let anyone "in" again. she left me. i was going to church, i was able to hang out with the friends i had already made, but i grew cold to allowing anyone new in. i basically didnt deal with the loss. she passed in....feb of 2001.

ok...just years and years of beating my self up, and just letting this eat at me. i finally had a break. in dec of 2005 i fell into a deep depression. i hated everything, felt i was the biggest failure on earth, and just was beating myself up. i was able to hide my feelings, so no one really knew.

come january of 2006. i was depressed, they where cutting back hours at work and i was a mess. i needed an outlet. so i had always been atracted to fit, and semimuscular women....and i had stummbled across herbiceps.com and ftvideo.com. thoght they where cool...and noticed a link to a webcam site. so i peeped it. started talking to a few performers. and frequented the site. and bam. i had made very strong friendships with a handful of the girls. women i still talk to this day. out side of the cams...that is. two of which i have had the pleasure of seeing turn pro in the past two years. and just good peoples. so you know, i still do go to the cams, but anymore it is just to chat with my friends, and hang out in the free areas....just to say hi,or what not. ok. so...with having new friends inthe industry, i figured i would get to know a lil about it. that is what led me to the different message boards. i know a lil about lifting so i could fit in decently. i have played a million sports, and just know things. i guess you can say i am a Jack of trades, master of none. i know a lil this, a lil that....but not a whole lot of anything....well except football...that is an exception.

anyway. so how did i get to here specifically. well. i had met Jen Cowan via the webcam thing awhile back. we met in Vegas last year at the USA's. and she had mentioned Getbig at one point. got a screen name there. didnt do much. she had let me know she had started a contest journal at GB, and i started posting. through that, i started chatting to Lori (rip) a bit, and she invited me over....sp here i am.

so there is a lot there.....and a lot to chew on.

but if you have any more questions i am here. i am open like i said.

i thought i would just put this out there....and let it be known. ok then.....

that is enough

Shelly
04-01-2008, 01:41 AM
B

Youre a good guy you know that?

Bernie
04-01-2008, 01:49 AM
B

Youre a good guy you know that?

not always

SBT
04-01-2008, 01:50 AM
From what I know you are too :D

ripitupbaby
04-01-2008, 11:44 AM
Yeah, you pretty much are. That's not a bad thing. ;)

KP DIVA
04-01-2008, 12:45 PM
Nice to meet U Bernie!!

KMS
04-01-2008, 01:03 PM
Nice to know you Bernie. The REAL you. As I said in my contest post really goes to all walks of life. The people that I appreciate the most are the people that are REAL.....Thanks for posting and making friends. :kiss:

oreganoo
04-01-2008, 01:45 PM
hey bernie,

from what i know, it seems that you are a nice and cool guy.
best wishes
and
greetings :nemo:
nice to meet you





p.s.: wich position did you play and do you have a fav football team ?

Bernie
04-01-2008, 08:10 PM
B

Youre a good guy you know that?

From what I know you are too :D

Yeah, you pretty much are. That's not a bad thing. ;)

Nice to meet U Bernie!!

Nice to know you Bernie. The REAL you. As I said in my contest post really goes to all walks of life. The people that I appreciate the most are the people that are REAL.....Thanks for posting and making friends. :kiss:

hey bernie,

from what i know, it seems that you are a nice and cool guy.
best wishes
and
greetings :nemo:
nice to meet you





p.s.: wich position did you play and do you have a fav football team ?

thank you all. you are all awesome.

and i was an offensive lineman, played mostly gaurd, but a lil tackle, and a lil center.

im a Charger fan.....:D


oh and i failed to mention in there as well. though many may know from my other posts....i coach high school shot put and discus. and i also coach high school football.

ibarramedia
04-02-2008, 12:12 AM
ok. so im pretty much an open book. if you ask anything about me, i will tell you. i have been asked a few times, who i am, and where i come from.

there is sooooo much about me, that is just weird to understand, but needed to really "get" me. i guess. like i said, im an open book, but i felt i would just post my story here....so i have some place to refer people to when they ask...:P

plus it does explain a lil why i am the way i am, and who i am. and how i came in contact with the FBB, and physique industry in general.

ok, there are two parts of who i am, that need to explained...the first is the easiet.

Bernies life on message boards. ok. i know my way arond message boards i was a moderator/admin at the message boards for the band P.O.D. for roughly 8 years, before it was shut down...wow....december of 06. has it been that long? anyway. i bounced around from message board to message board. and was looking for places to go. my first moniker at the pod boards, was big_bjt....but that kicked to the curb for the more fitting NUTCASE#1. yeah...that is me. over the course of time, i have also used bthomas77. b for bernie. thomas...my last name. and 77 was my football number all 6 years i played. high school and two years of Junior College. so if you see bthomas77 around, likelihood is, it is me. i am bthomas77 at getbig, irontrybe, md(i have like 2 posts). and if you see Bernie, it is probably me as well.......

ok. that is the message boards. i know my way around, and look like i post too much, becuase i just know how they work, and how to do things. basically.

ok. then there is me.

i am born and raised in Encinitas California. it is in north San Diego county. i have always been pretty shy in person, but online i dont ahve to work through the one on one anxieties i have. and i can just be me. umm...where do i start.

shy bernie. out of high school i went to Palomar JC. i was playing football there, and i met a female who lil did i know this person would be one of the most influential people i would ever meet. the day i met her, she invited me to a Bible study where i accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and savior. i was going to two churches...going to Bible study three times a week. and we meeting people. she taught me it was ok to be me, and i was able to break out of my shell a bit. i had my first girl friend at the age of 19. i was just blossoming into me. i guess.

well after know my friend for a year, she got sick. she was my best friend, she was the first person in my life i felt comfortable with, and could tell anyting too. but like all things that seem to be perfect, she had a boyfriend...and blah blah blah. well anyway. she got sick. it was the big C. she had ovarian cancer. she went through chemo and all sorts of stuff, and they said she was in remission. she got married, and withing two months was sick again. withing 3 months of that. she had passed away...she was only 21.

ok, why tell this story? when she died. i locked up. i vowed to never let anyone "in" again. she left me. i was going to church, i was able to hang out with the friends i had already made, but i grew cold to allowing anyone new in. i basically didnt deal with the loss. she passed in....feb of 2001.

ok...just years and years of beating my self up, and just letting this eat at me. i finally had a break. in dec of 2005 i fell into a deep depression. i hated everything, felt i was the biggest failure on earth, and just was beating myself up. i was able to hide my feelings, so no one really knew.

come january of 2006. i was depressed, they where cutting back hours at work and i was a mess. i needed an outlet. so i had always been atracted to fit, and semimuscular women....and i had stummbled across herbiceps.com and ftvideo.com. thoght they where cool...and noticed a link to a webcam site. so i peeped it. started talking to a few performers. and frequented the site. and bam. i had made very strong friendships with a handful of the girls. women i still talk to this day. out side of the cams...that is. two of which i have had the pleasure of seeing turn pro in the past two years. and just good peoples. so you know, i still do go to the cams, but anymore it is just to chat with my friends, and hang out in the free areas....just to say hi,or what not. ok. so...with having new friends inthe industry, i figured i would get to know a lil about it. that is what led me to the different message boards. i know a lil about lifting so i could fit in decently. i have played a million sports, and just know things. i guess you can say i am a Jack of trades, master of none. i know a lil this, a lil that....but not a whole lot of anything....well except football...that is an exception.

anyway. so how did i get to here specifically. well. i had met Jen Cowan via the webcam thing awhile back. we met in Vegas last year at the USA's. and she had mentioned Getbig at one point. got a screen name there. didnt do much. she had let me know she had started a contest journal at GB, and i started posting. through that, i started chatting to Lori (rip) a bit, and she invited me over....sp here i am.

so there is a lot there.....and a lot to chew on.

but if you have any more questions i am here. i am open like i said.

i thought i would just put this out there....and let it be known. ok then.....

that is enough


Thanks for sharing. I know a lot of what you are feeling.... I got your back Bernie. You're a good guy.

Kryten
04-02-2008, 12:44 AM
Hi Bernie,
I'm new here and don't know much, but I know it takes guts to post about your personal feelings so I'd just like to wish you well.
Keep talking to your friends - it's sounds like you have a few here! :)

TomNine
04-02-2008, 09:50 PM
Bernie is my hero.

Bernie
04-03-2008, 03:14 AM
Bernie is my hero.

now thats strange.....how can we be each others hero?

:respect:

SBT
04-03-2008, 03:16 AM
thank you all. you are all awesome.

and i was an offensive lineman, played mostly gaurd, but a lil tackle, and a lil center.

im a Charger fan.....:D


oh and i failed to mention in there as well. though many may know from my other posts....i coach high school shot put and discus. and i also coach high school football.

pats fan here ;)

Bernie
04-03-2008, 03:18 AM
pats fan here ;)

we an no longer be friends...

have a nice life....

dallas3
04-03-2008, 04:40 AM
All I want to know is, do you know where you want to take yourself in life or are you still trying to figure it out?

IslandGirl
04-03-2008, 04:54 AM
Bernie? How did I miss this thread?

OMGoodness! I learned so much about you that I didn't know.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend! :( Her story made my heart cry. So, you know where she is right now! She is healthy and enjoying her life right now in heaven! Yahoo!!! That is awesome!!!

I dunno if you knew this, but I also have a personal relationship with Christ! You are my brother in Christ, Bernie!!! Yea! :hug:

IslandGirl
04-03-2008, 04:55 AM
Hi Bernie,
I'm new here and don't know much, but I know it takes guts to post about your personal feelings so I'd just like to wish you well.
Keep talking to your friends - it's sounds like you have a few here! :)

:aloha: and welcome to SC Kryten! I hope to get to know you better!

jenscats5
04-04-2008, 12:35 AM
Hi Bernie!! Nice to meet you!

PS - Redskins fan...

Bernie
04-04-2008, 02:03 AM
Bernie? How did I miss this thread?

OMGoodness! I learned so much about you that I didn't know.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend! :( Her story made my heart cry. So, you know where she is right now! She is healthy and enjoying her life right now in heaven! Yahoo!!! That is awesome!!!

I dunno if you knew this, but I also have a personal relationship with Christ! You are my brother in Christ, Bernie!!! Yea! :hug:

ha.....i dont know how you missed it...oh well


and more about bernie there then most people need to know...:D

and as far as my friend...she was amazing. and i still love her to death. you may have heard of her husband. she married a musician by the name of Jeremy Camp. she actually has a website up...its http://melissacamp.com/

yeah...i kinda gathered you where. im just kinda in a church funk right now...long story.

and....

:kiss:

Bernie
04-04-2008, 02:04 AM
Hi Bernie!! Nice to meet you!

PS - Redskins fan...

nice to meet you....

and i was bummed about Sean Taylor last year.....gosh that was crazy

Bernie
04-04-2008, 02:10 AM
oh and one last thing...thought i would show this...

i wear glasses....but i have one crazy looking eye.

they are both the same color...but my right eye has this really distinct coloration. looks like my pupil is running into my iris.....

the marking is darker in person, i had the flash on on my camera....

Shelly
04-04-2008, 02:33 AM
oh and one last thing...thought i would show this...

i wear glasses....but i have one crazy looking eye.

they are both the same color...but my right eye has this really distinct coloration. looks like my pupil is running into my iris.....

the marking is darker in person, i had the flash on on my camera....

COOL B its like a birthmark on your eye!

Bernie
04-04-2008, 03:04 AM
COOL B its like a birthmark on your eye!

something like that....i think it is cool looking...HA

my only redeeming physical quality and i dont even get to see it...HA

IslandGirl
04-04-2008, 03:13 AM
ha.....i dont know how you missed it...oh well


and more about bernie there then most people need to know...:D

and as far as my friend...she was amazing. and i still love her to death. you may have heard of her husband. she married a musician by the name of Jeremy Camp. she actually has a website up...its http://melissacamp.com/

yeah...i kinda gathered you where. im just kinda in a church funk right now...long story.

and....

:kiss:


OMGoodness! How lovely is that? Jeremy is an amazing artist! Thank you for posting Melissa's site. I visited it just now, but I'll go back and visit it more thoroughly at my leisure. Thank you Bern!

Well, if I can somehow help with your church funk....let me know. If you're even in Co., I'd love for you to visit my church! I love my church family!

IslandGirl
04-04-2008, 03:14 AM
i wear glasses....but i have one crazy looking eye.

they are both the same color...but my right eye has this really distinct coloration. looks like my pupil is running into my iris.....

the marking is darker in person, i had the flash on on my camera....

COOL B its like a birthmark on your eye!

something like that....i think it is cool looking...HA

my only redeeming physical quality and i dont even get to see it...HA

lol

Bernie
04-04-2008, 03:22 AM
OMGoodness! How lovely is that? Jeremy is an amazing artist! Thank you for posting Melissa's site. I visited it just now, but I'll go back and visit it more thoroughly at my leisure. Thank you Bern!

Well, if I can somehow help with your church funk....let me know. If you're even in Co., I'd love for you to visit my church! I love my church family!

Jeremy is even a better person then he is a musician. i got to know him fairly well shortly after i got saved and up until Melissa's passing. after which he moved to Nashville. Melissa was just an amazing woman.....

long story...as i said....maybe share it in here when i have the time.....but basically got burned by some people....and left a bad taste in my mouth. i love God, and believe the Bible as truth....but am not really big into the church of man right now. funny thing is, about two years ago i was ready to go into seminary and didnt for some reason. and within a year, i was gone from church.

Bernie
04-04-2008, 03:24 AM
lol

:shrug:

Kryten
04-04-2008, 10:23 AM
:aloha: and welcome to SC Kryten! I hope to get to know you better!
Thank you and likewise. :)

jenscats5
04-05-2008, 12:34 AM
nice to meet you....

and i was bummed about Sean Taylor last year.....gosh that was crazy

A very bizarre and tragic incident......We'll see how they do this year with all the personnel changes......

ibarramedia
04-05-2008, 02:33 AM
Hi Bernie!! Nice to meet you!

PS - Redskins fan...

That's what I'm Talking about!!! Jenscats are you in the DC/Balt area like me and Badgergirl? Hail to the Redskins!!

dallas3
04-05-2008, 03:07 AM
That's what I'm Talking about!!! Jenscats are you in the DC/Balt area like me and Badgergirl? Hail to the Redskins!!
:nuts::rolleyes:

Bernie
04-05-2008, 03:11 AM
A very bizarre and tragic incident......We'll see how they do this year with all the personnel changes......

yeah...i was shocked when it happened. i just didnt know what to think. it sucks to see someone so young...just gone.

eh...im not to interested in how they are gonna do :p....im more interested to see what the Chargers try to do to get better....:D

ibarramedia
04-05-2008, 03:14 AM
yeah...i was shocked when it happened. i just didnt know what to think. it sucks to see someone so young...just gone.

eh...im not to interested in how they are gonna do :p....im more interested to see what the Chargers try to do to get better....:D


We are learning the Walshian West Coast offense and hopefully we will win the division. We have a new coach in Jim Zorn. I'm hoping for the best. The Chargers should do well again. Probably represent the AFC in the Superbowl.

ibarramedia
04-05-2008, 03:15 AM
:nuts::rolleyes:

Too bad D. We did spank the Cowgirls in the second game. Peace bro. ;)

Bernie
04-05-2008, 03:22 AM
We are learning the Walshian West Coast offense and hopefully we will win the division. We have a new coach in Jim Zorn. I'm hoping for the best. The Chargers should do well again. Probably represent the AFC in the Superbowl.

the west coast offense is the easiest thing in the world to run.....though i dont know how good Jason Campbell will do in it. but you guys still have Todd Collins...:p but Portis should do well in it. he's got pretty good vision, and that helps in that style offense......a ton.

the Chargers...im feeling a down year. i just have a weird feeling. i dont know why.

dallas3
04-05-2008, 03:26 AM
Too bad D. We did spank the Cowgirls in the second game. Peace bro. ;)

Eh...that division title makes it all better though ;)

Bernie was reading some of your story a few posts back and all I can say is stay strong and keep the faith.

ibarramedia
04-05-2008, 03:29 AM
Eh...that division title makes it all better though ;)

Bernie was reading some of your story a few posts back and all I can say is stay strong and keep the faith.


If it is any consolation to you. We have the toughest division in football now with 11 combined superbowl titles. And 19 Superbowl appearances. 3 NFC East teams in the playoffs last year.

dallas3
04-05-2008, 03:31 AM
If it is any consolation to you. We have the toughest division in football now with 11 combined superbowl titles. And 19 Superbowl appearances. 3 NFC East teams in the playoffs last year.

I agree with that all the way and the competition is always there every year. Now you've got me in itching for some football:D

Bernie
04-05-2008, 03:33 AM
Eh...that division title makes it all better though ;)

Bernie was reading some of your story a few posts back and all I can say is stay strong and keep the faith.

thanks man.

ibarramedia
04-05-2008, 03:33 AM
I agree with that all the way and the competition is always there every year. Now you've got me in itching for some football:D


Draft is coming soon. You guys may be gunning for a trade to get Pacman Jones.

Bernie
04-05-2008, 03:34 AM
ok...and remember im a die hard Charger fan.....

my AFC West predicted order of finnish...mind you this is before the draft.....but still...

Oakland
Denver
San Diego
Kansas City

ibarramedia
04-05-2008, 03:38 AM
ok...and remember im a die hard Charger fan.....

my AFC West predicted order of finnish...mind you this is before the draft.....but still...

Oakland
Denver
San Diego
Kansas City


I know you like the Chargers but I would have had it
San Diego
Denver
Oakland
Kansas City

dallas3
04-05-2008, 03:40 AM
Draft is coming soon. You guys may be gunning for a trade to get Pacman Jones.

I really hope it doesn't happen, just too much baggage.

Think the Chargers will still be the team to beat, they just have to man up in the playoffs more.

Bernie
04-05-2008, 03:46 AM
i really think the Raiders are gonna suprise some people this year. their D is solid...young...and fast. and JaMarcus is the real deal. they'll be able to protect him better this year...they just need to find a real running back, and they will be scary.

Denver will be real good........if they can find a reciever. Glen Martinez is not the answer. A healthy Travis Henry, and draft a possesion reciever and they will be tough to beat.

KC.....eek...they are in trouble.

my thing, is i dont think LT is gonna be the same running back. with the injuries this year....ist kind of sketchy. their biggest special teams guy Kassim Osgood is bitter becuase he wants to play more WR....they have Chris Chambers, Davis will be good.....but beyound that......blah....and Gates is getting beat up too. Rivers is a gamer.....and a leader....but he needs to shut his damn mouth. the D will be tough. but Jamaal Williams is a year older, and they need a new nickel CB...with Florence leaving. and we need to replace Micheal Turner......Chargers only have like 4 picks too. they have like a 1, then 4,5,6...or something. so only like one first day pick.....and they need to fill like....five or six holes......and make a great special teams player happy....who knows..........

Bernie
04-05-2008, 03:46 AM
I really hope it doesn't happen, just too much baggage.

Think the Chargers will still be the team to beat, they just have to man up in the playoffs more.

i think they proved they can play in the playoffs...im just afraid they wont get there this year........

Ondrea
04-05-2008, 04:14 AM
who is bernie...a sweet and caring friend!! XO

SBT
04-05-2008, 04:15 AM
Someone that likes to make others smile too!

Bernie
04-05-2008, 04:19 AM
who is bernie...a sweet and caring friend!! XO

Someone that likes to make others smile too!

thank you....you two are way too sweet......

:hug::hug:

SBT
04-05-2008, 04:22 AM
I only speak the truth ;)

Bernie
04-05-2008, 04:46 AM
I only speak the truth ;)

nice saying.....:bowdown:

xena
04-05-2008, 08:00 AM
im a Charger fan.....:D .


Hey Bernie! I was just reading through this post. You truly do seem like a optimistic, friendly sort. Hope you always stay that way! It's refreshing!!

On a side note, my nephew (Jason Ball) played Center for the Chargers for two seasons. I think he played in 2003 and 2004.

jenscats5
04-06-2008, 03:36 AM
That's what I'm Talking about!!! Jenscats are you in the DC/Balt area like me and Badgergirl? Hail to the Redskins!!

No, I'm north - just south of Philly.....

WHOOOOOOOOOO!!! Redskins!!

ibarramedia
04-06-2008, 03:43 AM
No, I'm north - just south of Philly.....

WHOOOOOOOOOO!!! Redskins!!

Music to my ears. Don't let those Eagles fans hate on ya. ;) Oh I just remmebered Stacy Keller is an Eagles Fan.

jenscats5
04-06-2008, 11:09 PM
Music to my ears. Don't let those Eagles fans hate on ya. ;) Oh I just remmebered Stacy Keller is an Eagles Fan.

No worries.....they are only slightly annoying until they break their ankles jumping off the bandwagon.....then they whine alot.... :D

Bernie
04-07-2008, 01:27 AM
enough Redskins talk....BLAH