Competing vs. a social life...

**fitfox17** · #1 07-22-2011, 03:38 PM

I had a date last night

and we were talking about aspects of competing and training that got me to thinking...

I recently moved and I am a single woman. Right now I spend my days sending out resumes, going to the gym, and trolling siouxcountry

. I decided to join a popular dating site as a way to meet people, and I also have been going out to try and meet people the old fashioned way. I do not have a lot of friends locally and I have been single for a while. I really would like to develop more of a social life because I believe balance is important. Its good to have career, family, friends, and hobbies as opposed to completely immersing yourself into just one. And let's face it, I'm not getting any younger so the prospect of a mate in the near future would be nice.

So my concern that is if I want to compete and do everything I need to do to prepare for a show, life is easier if you do not go out and socialize. I mean really, its just easy to pack up your meals for the day and go to work (or in my case not go to work

) hit the gym, then come back home and do it over again. When you are asked out on a date, its nice to meet for coffee, lunch, dinner, drink, beach, whatever. Even though living a healthy lifestyle is my way of life, being a competitor means your intake, proportions, and timing are very specific. I like a person to get to know me before I break out the high maintenance "well we can't eat here or there" or giving the waiter super specific instructions, or a number of other things we do (or don't do ) during show prep. I compete but it does not define who I am, so I want to person to get to know "me" so that when I break out the prep mode wierdness, they know its just that, prep mode only, not the real me. Of course not every date has to be a restaurant, but a lot of them are. What's a girl to do?

Do I compete, or do I date??

**snf_05** · #2 07-22-2011, 03:45 PM

If you go out with someone and they judge you based on how you order food or the choices you make then they aren't worth having in your life because if they don't understand or try to understand they will never support you in reaching you goals.

**snf_05** · #3 07-22-2011, 03:49 PM

Here's an idea... compete and find yourself a nice, buff bodybuilder at a show to date

What would be better than to have a companion to share the struggles and successes with?!

**Shelly** · #4 07-22-2011, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snf_05

Here's an idea... compete and find yourself a nice, buff bodybuilder at a show to date

What would be better than to have a companion to share the struggles and successes with?!

easier said then done

i was lucky enough to find a guy (my fiance) in the industy.... but there are also downsides to this as well!

i think if done right you can balance the 2... you just have to find the right guy who understands that this is a part of your life as well, and is important to you!

LaurenFazio · #5 07-22-2011, 04:01 PM

This is such a hard topic...

**jewelofnile69** · #6 07-22-2011, 04:07 PM

I'm lucky that I met my husband before I started competing so he developed this lifestyle along with me and we've grown pretty old together in the last 4 years or so. But meeting him is part of why I started competing because he had some friends of friends who competed and introduced me to it.

Now, back in my 'earlier' days I probably wouldn't have been able to pull this lifestyle off as I had a LARGE social life and enjoyed going out and drinking (not binge drinking or anything but I went out a lot). I think I would have come to this point anyway had I not met DH, but it may have taken me longer.

Good luck!

**Lolliepop** · #7 07-22-2011, 04:17 PM

I have been lucky enough to have met my future husband in the gym while I was prepping for a competition! He is super understanding of the whole competition prep process and is also very supportive! Just be patient...the right one will come along when you least expect it! All the best to you as you find the balance that makes you happy!

**Staci** · #8 07-22-2011, 04:41 PM

You could focus on dating more when your not in prep. It would be nice to meet someone in the your off season when your diet isn't so restricted. Then you could explain to them about the changes you make during prep and give them time to adjust.

**phatbaby** · #9 07-22-2011, 04:47 PM

When I meet my husband, I knew NOTHING about this industry. All I saw was a really cut-up guy sitting at the pool

At the time, he was dieting for a show. We went on our first date, he ate before we left (which I learned later) and then order plain chicken at the restaurant. He pretty much was up front with me about bodybuilding and laid it all out on the table at our first date. It's a little much for some people to take in, but I listened and continued to see him. Most of our dates were just hanging out at either his apartment or mine or at the pool since he was dieting, but we had fun and made the best of our time together. I was thrown into the world of bodybuilding/fitness VERY quick. But I was so super proud of him by the time the competition came around. And it didn't take me long to get on the fitness train! It motivated me to get my butt in the gym!

I guess you could say he took a gamble on being upfront with me. But since he was in the middle of a 10 week diet, he kind of had to. And figured if I couldn't deal, I would walk. I think when the right person comes along, you just know it. Whether you are in the middle of a show prep or off-season. They might see the nitty gritty for 10-12 weeks, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And if you can survive those prep weeks, then you can probably survive a much longer relationship. I wouldn't put either on hold. Do your thing and see where it leads you. Good luck!

**fitfox17** · #10 07-22-2011, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StaciA

You could focus on dating more when your not in prep. It would be nice to meet someone in the your off season when your diet isn't so restricted. Then you could explain to them about the changes you make during prep and give them time to adjust.

I thought about that, downside is that means either not dating for the rest of this year or no competing for the rest of this year, LOL...Ughhhh!

**fitfox17** · #11 07-22-2011, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phatbaby

When I meet my husband, I knew NOTHING about this industry. All I saw was a really cut-up guy sitting at the pool

At the time, he was dieting for a show. We went on our first date, he ate before we left (which I learned later) and then order plain chicken at the restaurant. He pretty much was up front with me about bodybuilding and laid it all out on the table at our first date. It's a little much for some people to take in, but I listened and continued to see him. Most of our dates were just hanging out at either his apartment or mine or at the pool since he was dieting, but we had fun and made the best of our time together. I was thrown into the world of bodybuilding/fitness VERY quick. But I was so super proud of him by the time the competition came around. And it didn't take me long to get on the fitness train! It motivated me to get my butt in the gym!

I guess you could say he took a gamble on being upfront with me. But since he was in the middle of a 10 week diet, he kind of had to. And figured if I couldn't deal, I would walk. I think when the right person comes along, you just know it. Whether you are in the middle of a show prep or off-season. They might see the nitty gritty for 10-12 weeks, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And if you can survive those prep weeks, then you can probably survive a much longer relationship. I wouldn't put either on hold. Do your thing and see where it leads you. Good luck!

Hmmm, well said!